For an HIV positive single person, dating after you have received the HIV diagnosis can be an experience filled with stress and fear. However, some of the following tips may help make this activity an easier one.
Talking about the dating process with others who are living with HIV and dating may help you gain confidence and get a realistic idea of what you may encounter. They may also be able to give you honest opinions about he options available.
You may initially want to date only other HIV-positive people, who will understand your situation and not have negative reactions and look at you without judgment. You may be able to find other HIV-positive people at support groups or social events aimed at HIV-positive people. However, if like most people, you want to try online dating with HIV, be aware that HIV-positive only dating sites do exist. Some of the sites out there include:POZ Personal, HIV and Single, Volttage, Poz Match.
Don’t forget, however, that even though you may be dating other HIV-positive people, you still need to practice safe sex; safe sex practices and condom use are crucial because otherwise you risk getting re-infected or catching another Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD).
If you meet a person who is not HIV-positive and begin to date, you need to disclose your diagnosis, whether you met face to face or online, as soon as you start becoming sexual; this includes oral, vaginal, or anal.
Before you tell your potential partner about your status, make sure you are in an appropriate place to have this discussion and that you have picked a good time. You may also want to consider whether you have given the relationship enough time to consider whether this person is someone you want to confide in and have an intimate relationship with .
Be prepared for a strong reaction – it may be negative, but it also may be positive and supportive; don’t assume it will be a rejection, especially if you and this person seem to have a connection. Also, don’t let one negative reaction keep. you from trying again. Remember that HIV does not define your entire identity – you are still a whole person with interests, a unique personality, and dreams and goals. Many HIV-positive people have healthy relationships, many with people who are not HIV-positive. It is possible. Do not let a few bad experiences rob you of your confidence or your feeling of self-worth; you also deserve to find a happy relationship.
Like anyone who uses an online dating service, be careful and use the same strategies anyone would use to stay safe. Make sure you meet in a public place the first time. Never give a lot of your personal information (including financial or residential). Look for the signs of an online predator – never being able to meet in person, wanting to move correspondence off the site, which makes it easier for them to find out more personal information about via email or Skype, and asking you questions about your finances-or asking you for money. These are all red flags that you may be talking to someone who is not genuinely seeking a relationship.